Wisteria Lane should close

(Originally published in The BG News.)

It’s the beginning of the end for “Desperate Housewives.”

This spring, the women of Wisteria Lane will close their doors after 8 years of suburban antics.

The show’s final season opened with the Wisteria women covering up an “oh so shocking secret” – Carlos killed Gabrielle’s psycho father.

Instead of alerting the authorities like most menopausal housewives, the women bury the psychotic rapist themselves in a nearby backyard.

Authorities better bring in the best to investigate this one.

The plan was fool-proof until every housewife started acting like an idiot. For instance, before the first commercial break, Susan starts avoiding her friends and acting nervous around Mike. Susan is as suspicious as Mary Alice is dead.

To clear her head, Susan goes for a run to the burial site.

You’d think these women would know how to deal with ridiculous circumstances, considering they’ve been maneuvering them for almost a decade. By now, most murderers would’ve grown a pair.

Across the street, Bree is sleeping with a particularly inquisitive detective – great news for the worst liars on television.

Gabrielle tries to console Carlos, who is deep in regret over murdering his rapist father-in-law. The show gets “desperate” here, trying to create a dramatic, heart wrenching interaction between husband and wife. The scene comes off flat and unconvincing.

In the meantime, Renee is trying to hook up with a new neighbor. As usual, nobody cares. The only reason Vanessa Williams is on “Housewives” is probably because ABC felt bad about cancelling “Ugly Betty.”

Tom and Lynette are struggling to live separately after last season ended with their divorce. Fitting of creator Marc Cherry’s constant outline of adulthood immaturity, Tom and Lynette have yet to tell their kids about the divorce. Mom and Dad have figured out a complex, soap opera set-up so that the kids won’t have any idea.

Huge spoiler alert – it doesn’t work.

The premiere tries to conclude with suspense when Bree receives a threatening letter in the mail. The letter starts with, “I know what you did.”

Can you believe it? Somebody knows.

This “I Know What You Did Last Summer” moment is obviously alluding to the letter the late Mary Alice received eight seasons ago.
It’s the classic plan to take the story full circle.

Cherry must have a plan for the series conclusion. Maybe it’s just taking time to develop. Nonetheless, the series is dragging. The creators are getting desperate – it’s time to kiss these ladies goodbye.

Rosco’s “Stroh Center Rap”

(Originally published in The BG News.)

With more than 17,000 hits, the “Stroh Center Rap” is a way to immortalize the Stroh Center and recognize the contributors.

The rap features sophomore Mikey “Rosco” Blair and senior gospel singer Rachel Willingham.

“I was excited, because I love this school,” Blair said. “I am so blessed that I was chosen to do this. I take any opportunity I can to help the University.”

The University had a specific goal when producing this video.

“We wanted to create something memorable for the Stroh Center,” said Dave Kielmeyer, University spokesperson.

In August, the University contracted Madhouse Creative to make a video commemorating the new facility. They needed on-screen talents, so Student Affairs generated a list of six potential stars, Kielmeyer said.

Blair submitted a tape, and he was selected as the rapper.

Willingham was discovered in the Bowling Green gospel choir. She is now a senior at the University.

“I thought it would just be for fun,” Willingham said. “But I didn’t realize it would be this big of a deal.”

The video was hard work, but they also had a lot of fun, Blair said.

“We talked about the buildings, and I couldn’t pronounce Schmidthorst [Pavilion],” Blair said. “It took me 50 tries before I got it right. It became a huge joke with everyone.”

The University is also laughing, in a positive way, about the music video’s success.

“You never know with videos like this,” Kielmeyer said. “Anytime you do something different, it’s risky. You never know how people are going to react.”

The video features people who funded the Stroh, something Kielmeyer was apprehensive about.

“We wanted to recognize the donors,” Kielmeyer said. “I have to admit, I held my breath when they watched it for the first time. Thankfully, they liked it a lot. We were lucky they were so down-to-earth.”

Blair found fame across the University last year with his YouTube spoof of Wiz Khalifa’s “Black and Yellow,” entitled “Orange and Brown.”

“I wrote ‘Orange and Brown,’ but I didn’t write ‘Stroh Center Rap,'” Blair said. “Rob Seiffert from [Madhouse] did. So I was honored to get to combine our talents together and make something cool.”

Blair is majoring in telecommunications but after finding YouTube success, he plans to pursue rapping, he said.

“At first, it was just for fun,” Blair said. “But now, I’m producing a mixtape and taking it seriously. I’m going to send out my tape and get it all over Facebook and Twitter.”

As for Willingham, she isn’t interested in singing. But she does want to be a star.

“I want to be a supermodel on MTV,” Willingham said. “But not like Kim Kardashian, being famous for nothing. I want to be out there working with people and in the public spotlight.”

The University is the ideal place to live your dreams, Blair said.

“BGSU is my support system,” Blair said. “When I do something, I give it my all. And BGSU is perfect for that. It’s the perfect step to where I’m headed.”

Willingham agrees. Getting involved at the University helped her get the job in the video, Willingham said.

“I like to do a lot and stay involved with people,” Willingham said. “That’s how they found me-with the gospel choir.”

Although Blair’s fame is spreading beyond his roots, Blair said family keeps him grounded.

“My godmother, mother and two sisters inspire me,” Blair said. “They’re my four girls. I want to support them. They’re why I do what I do.”

Emmys: A “Modern Family” Affair

(Originally published in The BG News.)

This year’s Emmy Awards seemed to be a family affair; that is, a Modern Family affair.

The ABC sitcom was nominated for 17 awards at the 63rd Annual Emmy Awards. Modern Family collected a total of five, including the highly coveted Outstanding Comedy Series. Additional nominees included 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, The Office, Glee and The Big Bang Theory.

After a commercial break, Jane Lynch joked, “Welcome back to the Modern Family awards.”

The family mockumentary was definitely the breadwinner of the night.

For its fourth consecutive year, Mad Men garnered the award for Outstanding Drama Series. The series has won the top drama award since its first season. With four wins, Mad Men ties for most Outstanding Drama Series victories.

Next year could be a record breaking ceremony for the 1960s drama.

While Mad Men was victorious in the Outstanding Drama Series, its cast was less successful. Elizabeth Moss and Jon Hamm both lost their respective actor/actress categories.

Best Actor in a Drama Series went to Friday Night Light’s Kyle Chandler for his work in the show’s final season.

The Good Wife’s Julianna Margulies stole the Best Actress in a Drama Series while sporting a controversial dress.

Joan Rivers will have a field day.

As for the funnies, Lead Comedy Actress nominees took stage together when it was time to give out the award. Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation), Tina Fey (30 Rock), Martha Plimpton (Raising Hope), Melissa McCarthy (Mike & Molly), Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie) and Laura Linney (The Big C) were up for the honor. Mike & Molly’s Melissa McCarthy tearfully accepted the award – her first Emmy victory.

Jane Lynch emceed the ceremony, opening with a song nodding to TV’s top shows including Parks and Recreation, The Big Bang Theory and The Office.

A memorial slideshow commemorated Hollywood’s late legendary stars. The Canadian Tenors sang “Hallelujah” as stars such as Elizabeth Taylor and Ryan Dunn were honored.

As another special musical performance, The Lonely Island and other Saturday Night Live veterans collaborated on a mash-up of “3-Way,” “I Just Had Sex” and “Jack Sparrow” as a facetious tribute to America.

Michael Bolton at the Emmys? Who knew?

Ignoring fire alarms raises concerns

(Originally published in The BG News.)

Centennial Hall residents have evacuated for a reported five fire alarms since move-in day. We’ve been in school for less than 30 days, resulting in an average of one fire alarm every six days at Centennial Hall.

Kody Sexton, a freshman who lives on the third floor of Centennial, said navigating the stairs with approximately 650 residents at 3 a.m. is difficult.

“It’s such an inconvenience,” Sexton said. “We’re already staying up late to do homework. Losing more sleep for no reason is ridiculous.”

Steve Syoen, Centennial Hall director, disagrees. There is a specific reason for each alarm, Syoen said.

“Something – usually a personal product – causes the alarms,” Syoen said. “The detector is picking up something and it won’t take the chance that there’s not a fire. That’s to keep students safe.”

Safety is the main concern, Syoen said. He fears residents are becoming too passive after so many evacuations this fall.

“Make sure you leave every time,” Syoen said. “Every time there is an underlying possibility that it’s a real fire.”

Residence halls elsewhere in the United States have caught fire before and have been deadly. Boland Hall – a freshmen hall on Seton Hall University’s campus in New Jersey – went up in flames at 4:30 a.m. on January 19, 2000. Three students were killed and 58 students and firefighters were injured, according to NJ.com, a New Jersey news hub. Police said they were victims because they ignored the fire alarms, according to NJ.com.

“Nobody wants to get up at 3 a.m. or when it’s 10 degrees outside,” Syoen said. “But it’s not worth the alternative.”

John Curlis, University fire safety inspector, agrees with Syoen that safety should come before anything else.

“Fires multiply quickly,” Curlis said. “They grow by doubling. And the smoke inhalation can kill. That’s why we need you to take alarms seriously.”

In addition to putting your life at risk, Syoen said students may get in trouble if you are discovered ignoring the alarm.

“There is no predefined sanction for this,” Syoen said. “But ignoring the alarm is a policy violation. You would be referred to the student conduct system.”

All detectors are fully functional and sensitive, Curlis said.

“There is a small photoelectric beam of light inside of the smoke detector,” Curlis said. “That beam detects smoke. Sometimes even something like a small spider gets in there and crosses the beam. We’ve had problems with that before.”

Two types of detectors are installed throughout the residence halls on campus. Some are sensitive to smoke and others are sensitive to heat.

“Obviously we try not to put the smoke sensitive ones in places with a lot of smoke – same with the heat ones with heat,” Curlis said. “But both types can detect a bit of everything.”

No matter how sensitive, students sometimes still set off the alarms mostly with personal products, Syoen said.

“Girls and guys contribute equally to this issue,” Syoen said. “It can be anything from a hair straightener on a robe to excessive use of Axe body spray. The detectors read them the same way.”

Some of the more common issues causing alarms to go off include students not cooking food correctly, such as popcorn or macaroni and cheese.

“Honestly, if you don’t know how to add water to Easy Mac, why are you in college?” Sexton said. “Come on, it’s a basic survival skill.”

BGSU student deploys on 9/11/11

(Originally published in The BG News.)

On Sunday – the 10th anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks – the Ohio National Guard will deploy 800 soldiers to Afghanistan. That’s the largest National Guard deployment since WWII.

Junior Michael Hanna will be a part of that deployment. He said he’s been waiting years for this moment.

“I’ve been training for a long time,” Michael said. “But I’ve known since I was in the first grade that this is what I wanted to do.”

Michael’s mom – Cheryl Hanna – says serving the country has been Michael’s dream for the majority of his life.

“When he was in first grade, he wanted to be a minister,” Cheryl said. “He even dressed up as a minister and brought a Bible to career day. But at the end of the year he changed his mind. He told me his calling was to be a soldier. And it hasn’t changed since.”

When the United States was under attack on Sept. 11, 2001, Michael said the impact altered his thinking.

“I used to go hunting and do outdoorsy stuff with my Dad,” Michael said. “And I liked that idea of the soldier. But 9/11 was a real call to action.”

Cheryl said she remembers discussing the sensitive topic with Michael, her then fifth grade son.

“I remember sitting down with him and telling him he would have to pay special attention to what was going on in the world if he really wanted to be a soldier,” Cheryl said. “And he did. He realized how it changed the world.”

Michael said he vividly remembers the heroic people and patriotism on that day.

“I can remember the firefighters and police on TV,” Michael said. “I remember the people on Flight 93 were really heroic.”

Exactly ten years later, a grown-up Michael is setting out to be one of these heroes.

“I think it is really cool to be deployed on the anniversary,” Michael said. “I volunteered to do this so I can’t wait.”

Cheryl said she is thrilled Michael finally has the chance to achieve his dream, especially on this historic date.

“I feel very proud,” Cheryl said. “I know it’s coincidental that the events coincide, but I’m glad. After all, the reason for this war is 9/11. It makes what our soldiers are doing seem real.”

Six years after Sept. 11, 2001, Michael went to boot camp. He was 17-years-old when he met his girlfriend Chantel Fucci, a fellow National Guard soldier.

“For awhile, we lost touch,” Fucci said. “But we both came to Bowling Green and reunited here. It really worked perfectly.”

Cheryl said she notices their chemistry.

“They are both really interested in the same things,” Cheryl said. “They both have a common goal of doing good. A lot of times people think soldiers are bloodthirsty or violent, but they’re really not. They’re really about helping people.”

Fucci said she knows the experience is going to make Michael a better soldier, but she is going to miss him.

“We don’t know how the communication is going to work,” Fucci said. “I know it will strengthen our relationship. When he comes back, I’m sure he’s going to be able to teach me a lot about the Guard.”

Although he already spent time at boot camp, Michael’s training is ongoing. He is required to spend more time getting ready for combat.

“I’m going to be gone for about a year,” Michael said. “We have six months of additional training and then we go to Afghanistan.”

While in Afghanistan, the task force will conduct security missions throughout the country.

Michael will join approximately 130 comrades at a call-to-duty ceremony in the Stroh Center on Monday at 3:00.

BGSU implements AYCE dining, enables fat freshmen

(Originally published in The BG News.)

Swipe.

That’s all it takes for unlimited food at Carillon Place and The Oaks. Everything is fair game. Go ahead, eat three servings of French fries and two cheeseburgers. Why not shove a few slices of pizza down your gullet? Don’t forget to grab three chocolate slices of pie and seven vanilla ice cream cones for dessert.

30,000 calories later, you have to stop because you can’t fit anything else down there.

Freshmen: if you repeat this process daily, you’re going to – SPOILER ALERT! – gain weight. The Freshman Fifteen is not a science, but there is definitely some substance to the idea. In a 2005 study, the Journal of American College Health found that about 70 percent of students gained a significant amount of weight between the start of college and the end of sophomore year. Sophomores, juniors and seniors can recall the tiny high school twigs that clearly threw on extra baggage after a year in college.
Despite these statistics, the University made the executive decision to introduce AYCE (All You Care to Eat) to the new campus dining halls. With buffet-style dining, the University is making our freshmen even fatter.

Swipes cost $7.25 for breakfast, $8.50 for lunch and $9.75 for dinner. In this economy, nobody is going to grab an apple or a small salad for $9.75. Plus, any sense of nutritional concern can easily be lost in the mix of stress and studying. It’s dangerous to throw freshmen into this situation.

Students should be able to choose whether or not to utilize AYCE or pay for each item singularly. You can still pay per item at other locations (i.e. Founders and Falcon’s Nest); so technically, you do have the choice.

But the future scares me. Universities across the nation love buffet style dining. Even more frightening, Chartwells, the owner of Dining Services at BGSU, changes things quickly. This fast pace can be great, Carillon Place and The Oaks were built in less than a year. But it can also be scary, seeing as AYCE was hardly discussed with students before the system dominated both of our new dining halls. The University could easily become a buffet style campus by 2012.

That’s obviously not our fault. But we shouldn’t allow the University to let our waists pay for it.

My advice: be careful. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a dessert every once in awhile or indulge in some fried food, but be aware of what you’re eating. Poor diet habits can bring down your mood and make the college transition even rougher. Despite what the University may imply with its AYCE system, just because your parents aren’t making your lunch anymore doesn’t mean you have to eat everything in sight.

If you are curious about the Freshmen Fifteen or you have other nutritional concerns, contact your campus dietician Daria Blachowski-Dreyer via e-mail at dariadb@bgsu.edu.

The 70 percent odds are against you and it seems the University is only making it more difficult. But perhaps you can take it like a challenge.

Freshmen: good luck not getting fat. You’ll need it.